Coffee Grinds and Silver Scissors
by RussianFireworks
Summary: It's a very vulnerable feeling.


It was a particularly quiet night at the small, familiar dorm.

Nobody had hinted about their plans for the evening, or the midterms that were creeping up on everyone with each passing day.

Nobody even hinted about wanting to go to Tartarus.

Not even Akihiko.

Perhaps maybe it was because the entire team was off studying for their midterms and couldn't be bothered with fighting a few shadows off in the tower.

Perhaps it was because there was rain in the forecast.

Or perhaps it really was only because it was a particularly quiet night and the universe itself wanted to keep it that way for just 24 more hours.

It seemed like all of SEES had parted ways from the lounge earlier than usual; which left everyone's brave, bored leader sitting by herself on the furthest sofa in the lobby.

Her thumb was unconsciously sliding across the music selection on her mp3 player as she tried to find a song suitable enough to fit the dull mood that was starting to take over her psyche.

Hamuko's eyes wandered to the window behind the fabled check in counter. She heard the hard patter of another one of the select isolated thunderstorms of the evening knocking against the windowpane.

Her thumb moved across the screen even slower still.

The atmosphere was heavy even though the Dark Hour had already passed.

And all she could hear was the noiseless feedback in her headphones talking back to her.

Her thumb stopped scrolling, and she pulled the cord from her ears.

She couldn't explain why, but she wanted to go somewhere.

She sat back into the couch and put a thumb to her mouth in thought.

But which member of SEES would be bold enough to venture out with her in the pouring rain at this hour?

Oh, she could already hear their fervent declines echo through her head.

"_Huh? Go out now? Hmm…Interesting challenge, but…I am certain that the rain would decrease my muscles flexibility and make my training regime for tomorrow a living hell_."

"_Forgive me Arisato, but did you just ask to go outside tonight, and now? Pardon me while I insult your intelligence for a brief moment."_

"Ehh? Now? But I just took a shower. Sorry, Hamuko-chan you're on your own tonight."

"The time and place doesn't matter, Hamu-chin. I've been told that Chidori doesn't like the rain. Therefore, I don't like the rain anymore."

"Ah… I apologize but I actually catch colds pretty easily. If possible, I would like to just stay inside tonight. We can always hang out tomorrow sometime!...Also, do you realize what time it is?..."

"The current weather forecast for the southeast Tokyo area is calling for intermittent storms until approximately 4:08 am. I am afraid I cannot allow you to subject yourself to that amount of precipitation. Surely you will fall ill."

"Hamuko-san, do you enjoy the rain that much? Like, splashing in the puddles? …A-And you thought I was the child…"

Hamuko let a sigh leave her lips.

"As if I'd _really_ ask Ken to go out now…" She looked back out the window at the rain that seemed to be slowing.

Her mind continued to walk around different ways to approach her teammates. She thought the person most easy to crack would be Akihiko, considering she'd just have to charm him into thinking it was just another fun way to train together.

But she wasn't in the mood to get an earful from Mitsuru about how irresponsible the whole idea was. Not to mention them breaking curfew.

Yukari and Fuuka were definitely a no-go; those two were probably already changed out of their uniforms hours ago and on their way to bed.

Hamuko looked down to her lap at her skirt and stockings. Suddenly she was full of envy.

Aegis would turn herself into a toaster before letting her go outside tonight.

Junpei was probably too busy being high off his wits end after having a good visit with Chidori today.

And she _was not going to ask Ken._

She flopped back onto the couch and let her arms hang off the back. She let out another sigh and listened for the chime of Koromaru's collar. Maybe he was interested in keeping her company tonight.

"Koro-chaaaan~" She called out lowly from where she lazily sat.

No response.

"Whatever, Koromaru. When you want to go for a walk tomorrow I'll pretend I can't hear you!" She pouted.

She felt her eyes close as she sank deeper into the couch, admitting defeat. She felt around her stomach for her mp3 player and slid one of her cherry red headphones over her ear; listening for whatever song was first on the list.

A familiar song poured into her ears.

When was the last time she heard this song?

Why did it make her think of food…?

And then suddenly, a familiar face appeared in her mind.

"AH!" She wordlessly shot up from her spot; her hair catching up with her, seconds later.

"Shinjiro-senpai!"

* * *

Hamuko made her way up the second set of stairs with her face eagerly contorting into a bright smile.

As she shuffled down the hallway to his bedroom door, she was surprised that she didn't see his light on.

Did he leave the dorm without her noticing?

"Damn! Senpai, take me with you!" She pleadingly whispered into her uniform jacket.

She straightened herself up and lightly placed the back of her coiled hand on the door.

She tapped a few times.

"Shinjiro-senpai?"

She knocked a few more times and waited.

After one more knock and no response, she turned the doorknob gently and let the door creak open, watching as the light from the hallway poured into his room's entrance.

Her eyes first moved to his bed, assuming that if he was there; he had gone to bed early, but saw no such lump taking over it. It was once she saw his familiar, unmoving silhouette at his desk; she immediately shut the door behind her and quietly stepped towards him, perplexed.

Hamuko glanced at the books scattered around his desk; Most of them appeared to be in English. She picked up the first one she saw and thumbed through it, trying to make out what exactly it was about. She could only pick up context clues in the dim light coming from his desk lamp and saw that they were cookbooks. She noticed that he had a thinner one still open underneath his limp hands.

"_So you're into foreign foods now…?"Just what kind of party are you planning to throw this time?" _Hamuko mused to herself as she looked at his relaxed form.

His whole body was completely calm, save for the stiffness in his shoulders and neck from the position he fell asleep in.

Hamuko felt all plans to leave the dorm suddenly evaporate from her mind.

"_Seriously, if you were that tired you should have at least lied down." _Hamuko thought as she looked over at his bed. Her eyes moved back to Shinjiro as she studied his serene and relaxed face. She could hardly even see his eyes anymore; not just with his hat still comfortably sitting on his head, but she couldn't help but notice that his mop of hair was absurdly longer than she had last remembered it being. She could tell he hadn't gotten it cut in a long time.

Hamuko couldn't help but lightly entwine her fingers through her senpai's mess of hair. She felt her mind go blank as she moved her fingers through his dark brown locks, quietly humming to herself. She slowly moved her hands to the brim of his hat and effortlessly lifted it away from his head, watching as the rest of his hair came spilling out of it.

"_Just look at this." _She felt her smile return to her face as she moved her hands back to his. "_How are you gonna see if the enemy attacks you from behind? What will you do then?"_

Shinjiro didn't answer her rhetorical questions.

He only continued his quiet breathing, just inches away from her face.

It was then that Hamuko knew what she was going to do tonight and made the silent decision to rectify the situation she now deemed in front of her.

She stepped back a bit and leaned over his desk; eyes scanning for a razorblade or some scissors hidden around the confines of the books. She opened the only drawer at his desk and sheepishly felt around for something sharp, but once all she felt were pencils and pens, she knew she'd have to retreat.

"_Damn, senpai." She pouted. "Why is your room so empty?"_

Looking over at him one last time to make sure he hadn't moved, she quietly slid the desk drawer shut and slipped back over to the door, opening it as quietly as she could. She held her hand inbetween the door and the frame to prevent it from closing completely, and gave a sigh of relief that she was able to prevent it from creaking loudly as it normally did.

However, it was when she was startled by Koromaru who had somehow made his way to the second floor that she almost screeched as loud as the door would have.

"_K-koro chan?!" She whispered with a hand over her mouth. "You…You almost blew my cover! …And for that matter, what are you doing up here?"_

A low whimper rose from his throat as he craned his neck to the floor.

Hamuko felt her shoulders relax and she let out a sigh.

"No, I'm not mad at you." She reassured him with a quick scratch behind his ears. "But you do understand Mitsuru-senpai would have to punish you if she found out what you were doing."

Koromaru's neck lowered even closer to the ground.

"Then again, I'm swimming in the same water that you are." She quietly laughed. Koromaru seemed to understand what she meant.

"I'm on a mission right now. You understand, right?"

Koro gave a somber tilt of his head.

Hamuko stood back up and motioned behind her.

"You know how stubborn _he _is."

Koromaru's ears immediately fell.

"That's why I gotta hurry!"

And without another word or head tilt from Koromaru, Hamuko took off to the third floor and quickly stepped inside the girl's bathroom. After rummaging through the first two drawers, she finally found what she was looking for. A devilish smile spread across her face as her pupils met with the light shining proudly off of the two long, sharp blades. She opened and closed the scissors a few times in triumph.

Heading back down the hall with Koromaru now at her heels, she slid back into the room and shut the door behind her this time, throwing a reassuring look back to Koro before doing so.

Hoping to god that he hadn't moved from his chair, she crept back over to where he still sat and saw that her prayers were answered.

"_Alright now God, just let me carry out my mission."_

Hamuko carefully moved a few of his books to the side, looking back at the one his hand was still resting on top of.

"_You don't mind if I tear you apart from your reading material for a few minutes, do you?"_

She lightly took his hand from the pages, and in both of hers, carefully set it down on his lap. She placed her hands on the back of his chair and pulled it a few inches away from the desk. Hamuko listened for any movement from him and was relieved to hear none.

"Alright." She whispered to herself as she grabbed the scissors from the desk. She decided she would start from the front and work her way back; that way if something went wrong, he at least had his vision restored.

Her plan was halted when she noticed that there was one problem that prevented her from starting her quest; his glasses.

Hamuko felt a small smile tug at the corner of her lips at the sight of his reading glasses that had slid down his nose a bit. Her hands unconsciously moved to the sides of his chin as she slowly and carefully helped them off of his face. He let out a small, sleepy moan at her touch in response to which Hamuko almost lost her footing. She turned around, placing them on the desk behind her and took a deep breath in.

She was ready.

She gently moved her index and middle fingers in front of his eyes and slid them right underneath the longest part of his bangs. As Hamuko was taking mental measurements to herself of how much she needed to cut off, she saw his face wince a bit and felt her pulse drop.

_"Are you kidding me, I haven't even cut anything yet!" _She mentally laughed to herself and gave a slight roll of her eyes.

After waiting a few seconds and assuring to herself that the muscles in his face were completely relaxed again, she made the first clean cut. Hearing the refreshing slice of the scissors and watching his too-long bangs finally fall to the floor made her give a much pined for sigh of relief.

As carefully as her fingers would allow, she continued to weave them through his bangs, trying to push away the stray hairs from each past cut as carefully as possible before taking another small clump and shearing it as best as she could.

Pretty soon she had developed a rhythm to it; reflexively interlacing his strands of hair through each of her fingers and effortlessly trimming the ends off. Even she was surprised at how easy it was to get lost in his low, steady breathing and yet still feel such deific clarity in her mind as she worked.

It took about another fifteen minutes to finish his bangs and trimming off the sides of his face that framed his sharp jawline. Hamuko stepped back from his face to take a deep breath and admire her handiwork. She felt her eyebrow hitch as she tried to figure out how much she should take off the back in conjunction to the wonderful job she had done in the front.

She stepped forward once again and leaned in to continue—

"**Just what in the**_** hell**_—"

She could swear that she felt her wrist snap in half as her fingers immediately lost hold of the scissors as his hand coiled around hers.

"**do you**_** think**_—"

The sound of metal hitting wood rang through her ears like gunfire.

"**you are **_**doing**_."

Hamuko looked down at her melee weapon lying helplessly on the floor and then to her wrist that was being crushed by Shinjiro's grip. She knew he was going easy on her, too.

"Oh… you know…" She sheepishly avoided his gaze as her heartbeat tore her eardrums apart. "Important… leaderly things."

Shinjiro's eyebrow cocked.

""Leaderly"…?" his frown deepened. "And Aki tells me you're at the top of your class."

Hamuko gave a solid nod as she tried to peek at his currently expression. Even though the lights were dim, she sure couldn't make out anything remotely resembling a smile crossing his face.

Shinjiro's eyes moved to the glare from the blade at his feet and without letting go of Hamuko's wrist, leaned over to pick it up. His eyes narrowed as he inspected the weapon.

"Care to explain this?" He pointed the scissors gravely in the direction of her eyes.

Hamuko stifled a taut sigh. She felt her foot unconsciously drawing circles on the floor below her.

"I'd rather not." She smirked, trying not to laugh.

Shinjiro used the back of his arm to rub his eyes.

"Well s'not like I'got all day h're." His words were still slurred from his abrupt awakening. "And I'm a little concerned as to why our leader is in _my _room with a _weapon."_

Hamuko tried so hard not to smile. She really did.

"And not to mention the fact that she's _SMILING—tch-_Hamuko; what the fuck is with that expression on your face." He snarled; still not letting her wrist go.

"An explanation?" She squeaked.

"It'd _sure_ be nice." Shinjiro felt a vein burst in his forehead.

"Well…" Hamuko looked to the ground.

"Any day now, _leader." _Shinjiro's grip tightened with each syllable.

"…It was, ah… getting too long, so…I cut it." She mumbled, feeling her face get hot.

It sounded like a good idea about an hour ago. Execution however could use some work.

"….Haa?" Shinjiro's shoulders dropped and Hamuko felt his grip on her wrist loosen.

She sent a determined pout his way; her cheeks only getting redder.

Shinjiro's eyes instantly averted to his lap.

"It was getting too long." She motioned to her own head. "So I cut it."

The wheels in Shinjiro's head still weren't fully turning. He only continued to look at her with drowsy eyes.

It was Hamuko's turn to feel her shoulders drop. She watched the confusion practically bleed from his face.

"IT WAS GETTING _TOO LONG_." She threw her hands to the top of his head, forcing him to crane his neck back. "SO _I CUT IT_." She paused, stepping back from his chair again. "OR at least I _WOULD _have if _somebody_ didn't _wake up_." Hamuko tried to conjure a way to get her scissors back but figured that was too risky of a move to make just yet. Especially with the bomb she was sure was about to go off.

Shinjiro blinked a few times before unconsciously moving his own free hand to his forehead.

"Wait, you…." His eyes widened, suddenly seeing the mess on the floor below him. "YOU—"

Hamuko gave another nod.

"Well if I didn't, who would?" She snapped, crossing her calves together as her hip cocked.

"You…cut…my hair…" Shinjiro threw a look to his desk where his hat lie.

"Do I even need to ask the question again?" Her arms crossed at her chest.

The expression on Shinjiro's face was very confused, but resigned.

"….AKI." Shinjiro snapped; throwing a palm to his forehead after a few seconds.

Hamuko's interest was piqued.

"Come again?" A smile forced it way onto her lips.

"Agh—" Shinjiro's fingers grabbed at his temples. "….Aki would have."

"Akihiko-senpai would…?"

"There was absolutely no need to do this—" He looked up from his lap and directly  
at her. "Hardly—But when the time does come, Aki does-Aki cuts my hair."

Hamuko clasped a hand to her mouth, sure that she was feeling tears peak at the corners of her eyes as she tried not to laugh. For some reason, the thought of Akihiko and Shinjiro sitting down together for a haircut made her feel funny.

Shinjiro certainly wasn't expecting that reaction. He felt his face start to burn in response. He instantly grabbed his hat from the desk and pulled it down past his eyes.

Panic immediately pulsated through Hamuko's head.

"Oooooh no you don't—" She made a leap of faith and snatched it back from him as quickly as she could.

"H-Hey—" Shinjiro's teeth painfully gritted together. "Give it back—"

"Not until I finish." She snapped, tossing it to his bed beside them.

"You are _not _cutting any more off."

"If I stop now, its gonna look like some sort of gross _mullet_." Hamuko snapped. "I won't have anyone on the front line with me looking like a hot mess." She looked down at the scattered dark brown locks on the floor near her feet. "Even the shadows will make fun of you."

Shinjiro ran a hand through the back of his head and tried to gauge just how much hair he actually _did _have back there. He didn't want to admit that there was a hell of a lot more than he remembered there being.

"Plus—" She immediately positioned her face just inches from his again and squinted hard, examining her work again.

Shinjiro felt himself stop breathing.

"You've always looked better without it." Hamuko protested as her red eyes sliced through his soul.

"M-My hair?" he swallowed as quietly as he could.

"No, your hat, silly." Hamuko beamed as she flicked his nose before he could even so much as blink.

"Oi—" He snarled, watching as Hamuko resumed her work. He felt his face grow hotter, and couldn't stifle a long sigh.

"Now turn your chair around so I can do the back." Hamuko smiled, making circular motions with the scissors.

Shinjiro wordlessly complied.

"Ah, before that, though—" She put her hands to her uniform jacket and began to pull it up.

"O-Oi, Hamuko—?" Shinjiro felt his face flush.

"What?" Hamuko peered at him from over her crossed elbows. "Let me take this off—Your room is _unbearably _hot." She sighed, out of view of Shinjiro's growing blush. "At first I thought it was just my fear of waking you up that was making my clothes stick to me; but it's actually just THIS ROOM."

Shinjiro watched through half open eyes as she peeled her uniform jacket off and happily toss it to his bed. Hamuko's hands moved to her neck and she slid her fingers between her bow and pulled it down; discarding it to the bed as well.

"Tch—Let's not get too free here…Aki'd murder me." He buried his mouth into his black collar.

Hamuko undid the first few buttons on her shirt and relished in the comfort she felt now that she was cooler. She could've sworn she heard Shinjiro mumbling something distasteful just then, but she ignored it.

"Alright, I'm ready." She stepped behind him and gathered all his hair like she was going to tie it back. "Scissors." She demanded.

He wordlessly held them back to her.

Hamuko began fixing up what she couldn't see before. Now that she had access to his entire head instead of just sections, she was able to really get a feel for the way the scissors worked.

And she returned to her rhythmic cutting; stopping only a few times to second guess herself after she made bigger cuts.

She worked in silence, asking only a few times if he was still comfortable in his chair; and he always gave a barely audible grunt in return.

It was different now,

Standing in warm silence with him in the chair just below her.

It was like all the excitement she had felt before had migrated into quiet, shared comfort.

She enjoyed the stillness with him, continuing her journey through his shortened locks.

She felt her eyes look to his hat that was resting next to her uniform bow that had fallen just short of touching each other.

Hamuko unexplainably felt a wave of guilt flood her senses.

"_Wait a minute….'" _Her eyes traced over the folds in the fabric of her bow as her eyelids drooped.

"_Was it really so wrong of me to go into Shinjiro-senpai's room_?" She felt her hands unconsciously loosen.

_"I mean… I invaded his space…And in the worst way possible…" _Her shoulders slumped.

"_I know how bad he is with trusting others…And for me to just-."_

"_What if I made a huge mistake tonight?!"_

"Ah…" She breathed; feeling her hair fall in front of her eyes. "…Senpai?" She paused as the tip of the scissors rested on his shoulder. She felt her throat close up.

"Nn?" He grunted in response.

She felt the air around her grow stale. For some reason, she couldn't feel the hand that held the scissors anymore.

"_How…" _She felt her eyes painfully shut.

"How can I apologize to Senpai after doing this…."

Her hand tightened around the scissors. "_Even if he wont outright say it….He's probably really fucking pissed off. And I'm only perpetuating it more right now."_

"I always act without thinking around him…"

She gave a caustic shake of her head; her own thoughts feeling bitter against her skull.  
_  
"Why is it that I give the man I want to be happiest, the most amount of trouble…"_

"_I'm such an idiot."_

"Senpai, listen…" Hamuko felt her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "A-About this…. I'm, ah-"

"Hey." Shinjiro suddenly spoke up.

"…Hmm?"

"Not that it's really…any of my business or anything."

Hamuko immediately put her hands back to his head. "I-I…. sure love conversations that start like that, senpai." Hamuko laughed lightly as she continued to play with his hair.

"No, no, it's just that…" Shinjiro felt his knuckles tense. "Before you get the wrong idea here…well, I heard from Aki…"

"Mm…?"

"Well, how to put this…" Shinjiro sucked air through his teeth. "He's been kind of...different recently."

"Ehhh…" Hamuko ruffled the top of his hair a bit, trying to see how much more she needed to cut.

"Mm." Shinjiro leaned forward a bit, forgetting she was still working. "He's still the same, usual streamlined idiot, but…I dunno, he seems more distracted."

"Distracted, you say?" Hamuko brushed the rest of his hair back into place and moved in front of his face again. "Hey—Look up I want to check the front of your hair now that you can lift your head up for me."

"Ah, sure." Shinjiro looked up and sat back again; being immediately faced with Hamuko's unbuttoned shirt.

And he was staring right down it.

"E-Er…..Hamu—"

His eyes were locked into place as his face continued to burn. He was sure it was a whole new shade of red; and was thankful the lights were still dim.

She had such beautifully white skin.

And her collarbones were-

He had to.

He had to practically force his eyes to close.

It was a fierce battle with himself that lasted for only around ten seconds, but it was the hardest ten seconds he had ever faced.

He couldn't even compare Tartarus to it.

He was brought back to reality, suddenly.

"You were saying?"

"…...Huh?"

"About… Akihiko-senpai…?"

"Ah…Right…" Shinjiro swallowed. "He…. Just-ah- seems distracted."

"Yeah, you said that already." Hamuko sectioned off another piece of his hair and began shearing it lightly. "…But how so?"

"I asked him about it." Shinjiro looked to his folded hands. "He's too much of a vague idiot to be able to annunciate what it is he is actually feeling." He huffed. "But I think that it has something…more or less to do with…"

Hamuko let the section of his hair fall back into place.

"With…?"

Shinjiro swallowed hard and continued to stare at his hands.

"With you, Hamuko…."

Hamuko felt her shoulders relax, and felt the scissors close between her fingers. Her eyes met with Shinjiro's and she looked at him for a long time.

Had his eyes always looked like that?

Like they had been dying to say something that his heart couldn't?

_I have to apologize._

_Right now._

"Shinjiro-sen—"

"W-Wait." Shinjiro put a hand up. "We're not alone anymore."

Hamuko was confused at first until she saw the tiniest smile tugging at his face. It looked half-forced which made her stomach twist into a knot.

Suddenly she heard it; a sound exactly like a certain dog's nails scratching against the wood door.

"-Koro-chan!" Hamuko hurried over to the door and opened it as quietly as possible and slowly knelt down beside him. "What on earth are you still doing up? I said goodnight to you a while ago."

"He knows you aren't in bed yet, so of course he isn't going to sleep."

Hamuko looked up at Shinjiro who was now hovering over the two of them.

"He's the true master of the house, aren't you, boy?" Shinjiro put a firm hand to his head and rubbed it a few times.

Koromaru gave a low whine in response; obviously happy that _his_ master was still awake.

"He's staring at you, senpai." Hamuko mused from where she knelt. "He must like your haircut."

"Tch." Shinjiro stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Kirijo wouldn't be all too pleased if I let 'ya stay here." Shinjiro threw a glare to Hamuko below him. "I remember a certain someone doing that once and somehow managing to get away with it."

Hamuko laughed, remembering that night. "Are you telling me that you want Koromaru to sleep with you up here?"

"I didn't say that."

Hamuko put a hand to her mouth.

He was such a terrible liar.

"Go to bed, Koro." Shinjiro quickly turned his attention back to the happy dog.

"He's right, you know." Hamuko added as she folded his ears back a few times and watched then snap back into place. "It's way past your bedtime."

"Arent you one to talk?" Shinjiro leered.

"Aren't _YOU?" _She retaliated, not taking her eyes off of Koromaru.

Shinjiro sighed and put a hand on the doorknob.

"I'm gonna go put Koro outside and make some coffee." He motioned, and Koro stood up and immediately followed him. "I can't sleep because of my-"

Hamuko saw a grim look fall over his eyes as his face became pale.

"Well, I'm gonna make a pot, so—" His voice was quiet.

Hamuko felt weight on her chest that was gradually getting heavier with each second she stayed knelt on the floor.

"Maybe you ought to get to bed, too." He added, opening the door wider and letting the hallway light bathe his sharp features.

The weight increased.

"I-Im not really all that tired." Hamuko bit her lip. "I wasn't planning on going to bed for a while now, actually…"

The weight increased again.

Shinjiro put a hand to his forehead, slowly moving it to the back of his neck.

"Mind if I join you?" Hamuko weakly asked, standing up.

Shinjiro looked like he wanted to protest; Like he wanted to scold her for staying up so late. But instead, his shoulders shrugged and his posture weakened.

"Do what you want."

* * *

Hamuko waited patiently and nervously on the furthest sofa in the room. She found it funny that she was back on the same space she was just hours ago, only this time with a much heavier conscience.

She continued to fidget; her eyes darting around the room like she had never seen it before.

Her fingers crossed and uncrossed at her lap before she finally just sat on them.

_Just tell him you're sorry._

_Don't even thank him for the coffee; just outright say it._

"_I'm sorry, senpai."_

_Don't wait, don't think about it, just fucking say it before he runs back off to bed._

_Just—_

"Here you are."

Hamuko was snapped back to her senses as she saw a cup being placed on the table beside her.

"Ah, thank you!" She eagerly took the cup in her clammy hands.

…_Goddamn it, Hamuko! You've already failed step one! You and your damn manners!_

"W-What kind did you make?" She felt herself try not to say that as she surveyed the liquid below her.

Shinjiro's eyebrow hitched as he sat down next to her.

"Ah…Whatever was in the cupboard, actually. I haven't had time to go out and get a nicer brand because of the weather."

"Ah..That so?" Hamuko sipped at her coffee quietly.

_So bitter._

She didn't dare ask for sugar.

Shinjiro got up from where he had just sat up and moved behind the couch.

Hamuko suddenly felt the weight of familiar fabric drape over her shoulders.

She immediately tensed up.

"S-Senpai?"

"Don't pretend like you aren't cold." He mused. "It's a hell of a lot different down here than it is in my heatbox of a room."

"But—" She began to protest. "Arent you gonna be cold now?"

"I've got three shirts on." He smiled briefly. "I'll be fine for a while, until…." His face fell flat as he thrust the coffee cup to his lips.

Hamuko's sensed relaxed for a moment as she breathed in his scent. It always unexplainably smelled like home to her.

"Well, thank you." She muttered softly into the black lapels as she pulled the coat closer to her body. She drew her knees to her chest and picked her coffee up again.

Her senses were suddenly tensed when Hamuko realized her plan to apologize right away was out the window already; and she needed a way to keep the conversation going.

An apology would have to end up in the air sometime, right?

"It's… funny you should mention not being able to go out for decent coffee, senpai." Hamuko talked into her cup. "I was…actually planning to go out tonight."

Shinjiro went cross-eyed for a brief moment.

"…You what?"

Hamuko felt her shoulders tense.

"Aha—Yeah before…." She feebly gestured with her hands. "…and the whole…" She sent a weak look at him. ".. I was actually going upstairs to _get you_, to see if you wanted to come with me."

"…You were planning on walking? In that weather?" Shinjiro leaned back into the sofa.

"Well it's not like I exactly have a car…"

"Idiot." He slammed his cup down onto the table.

Hamuko winced at the sound.

She was surprised the cup didn't outright shatter on impact.

She peered at Shinjiro meekly through half lidded eyes.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" She watched his brows furrow and his frown deepen. She hated when the shadows around his jawline darkened because she knew it meant he was really angry.

"…I was…"

"Do you know how easy it is to get sick out there? Especially at this time of the night? In that type of weather?!" He continued on.

She felt her eyes shut again; wanting to be anywhere else.

"What the hell are we supposed to do if you get sick?!—"

Hamuko buried deeper into his coat; feeling even smaller still.

"Do you have any idea—Any idea at all how much I would have—" He put a hand to his temples. "DO YOU HAVE—"

"DAMMIT SENPAI, I'M SORRY, ALRIGHT?!"

Shinjiro's shoulders suddenly relaxed; realizing he had been on a tangent. He looked to Hamuko who at this point was practically hiding in his jacket.

"I'm… sorry for tonight." Her hands painfully gripped the coffee cup.

Shinjiro's face went pale; he really didn't mean to scream at her.

But why was she apologizing to him?

"I'm…sorry for-for coming upstairs—For invading your space—For doing something like that to you-"

Her fingers were going white as they continued to dig into the sides of the cup.

"I'm _really _sorry." Her shoulders began to shake. "I understand if you never want to take off your hat again—Aha-" She laughed weakly into her knees.

Shinjiro shifted in place a bit.

"A-And most of all—"

"Alright, stop."

Hamuko felt a hand gently moving the sides of her protection away from her face. She could sense the light flooding into her field of vision through closed lids, yet she still refused to open her eyes.

She immediately pulled the coat closer to her.

They sat like that for a few more minutes before Shinjiro decided to try again.

"…You wanna open your eyes now?" Shinjiro softly moved her limp bangs from her eyes and adjusted her hairclips a few times to make sure they stayed in place.

Hamuko gave a slow shake of the head; mortified.

Shinjiro was worried, but reassured when she at least didn't move away at his touch. He then slid back to his spot and laid back into the couch.

"Y'know…Kid…" He slapped a palm to his eyes. "You got me all sorts of confused."

Hamuko felt one eye open.

"In so many ways than one."

Hamuko saw his faint smile spreading across his face and felt her heart lift a bit.

"There aint anything to be sorry about other than your stupid idea to go outside tonight." His hand slowly moved down his face and to his chin. " ' an I'm sorry for yelling at you just now." He paused. "It's just that I…" He paused again, a noncommittal hand was pressed to his jaw, preventing him from saying anything further.

Hamuko felt the tension in her knees becoming less apparent.

His voice was so relaxing.

She couldn't explain it.

"This aint like you, though." Shinjiro looked to her through his fingers on the hand that hadn't yet left his face. "Nervous and apologetic." He shook his head slowly. "What's up with that?"

Hamuko breathed into her knees.

"Truth be told, my neck feels a whole lot cooler now." He moved both hands to the back of his head and stretched his legs out below him; exhaling loudly. "I cant imagine the amount of sweat that pooled back there before—Must've been really bad." He smirked. "The other night; yknow when the shadows were on our ass after we left that hellish floor; I imagine that's how they found us so easily."

Shinjiro kept trying to send the best reassuring looks he could back over to the huddled mess that was Hamuko; but he knew she was only half paying attention.

He let out another long sigh before sitting up straight again.

"…From what Aki tells me—"

Hamuko felt her heart stop.

"He's starting to… feel differently." He breathed. "Towards you." Shinjiro's hands folded as he spoke.

Hamuko's eyes began to cloud.

She didn't know why,

But it pained her to hear these words from his mouth.

"Trust me." Shinjiro breathed. "I know how that guy is." He laughed gently. "He's still a fuckin' kid." Shinjiro's eyes followed the steam that was still rising from his coffee. "One way or another, he's going to let you know."

Hamuko wanted so badly to speak up.

She felt her throat trying to produce sound.

"How he feels, I mean." Shinjiro motioned to nobody with his hands.

Hamuko's entire body felt weak.

She could swear she felt the first tear fall from her face onto her shaking knees.

"And whether or not you return his feelings, is obviously not my business." Shinjiro continued. Hamuko could sense nothing but true honesty in his words.

He wasn't telling her this out of jealousy

Or spite.

His words didn't sound like that of a brother

Or even a lover.

Her eyes painfully shut as he continued to tell her what he had observed.

Shinjiro was best at that.

"I know you; you're a strong girl—a strong woman-a strong leader." He corrected himself, folding his hands again. "No matter what, you'll be fine."

"S-Sen—" Hamuko couldn't reach him yet.

"Just do what makes you happy." Shinjiro sat back again; his arms stretched out against the couch.

"Because in spite of whatever happens, there is nothing more I love than seeing your smile."

Hamuko couldn't take it.

Her stomach had dropped to her feet.

And before she knew it

His coat was on the floor

And she was sobbing helplessly onto his black shirt.

And all he did was rub her back soothingly as he waited for her breaths to become even again.

She didn't cry for long; no.

But she cried long enough to let him know that for her own reasons, she was worried about him.

After he finally felt her calm down, and saw as she looked to him with apologetic eyes (this time, for crying suddenly) he knew she was finally relaxed.

Shinjiro let out yet another composed sigh.

"Better?"

He felt her nod against his chest.

"Do you still think you're a bad cosmetologist?"

He felt her head shake and her shoulders stiffen as she let out a quiet laugh.

"Shut up, senpai." Hamuko dug her face into his collarbone.

That was all he needed to hear for confirmation as far as he was concerned.

His eyes moved to the window, unsure what the rest of his night was going to be like after this moment they shared together. Hamuko raised her head and pressed her hands to his torso, helping herself off of him. She moved back beside him, albeit closer than she was last time.

"Do you want any more coffee?" Shinjiro blinked as she shook her head.

"No, I think I'm fine." She breathed, giving him her best smile. "Thank you, senpai."

He felt the true implications of that last phrase hit him like a rock would hit the ocean floor.

A hand reflexively moved to the back of his neck.

"Mm." He breathed.

Hamuko shuffled in place a bit, eyeing his cup with suspicion.

"If you want to make more; by all means…go." She fidgeted. "I'll wait."

"Sorry but I'm gonna have to take you up on that offer." He smirked, getting up off of the couch.

It only took him a few minutes to get a new cup of coffee and take his place next to her again. He could tell that even after she had shown so much of herself to him tonight; she was still weary of him. He tried his best to look calm, and signaled to her to come closer.

"I'm not gonna bite you." He sipped at his coffee quietly, with a smirk.

Hamuko felt a blush reach her cheeks as she couldn't help herself from smiling briefly.

Shinjiro tapped the side of his shoulder and waited for her to take his nonverbal cue. It was only seconds before her head was comfortably resting on it.

That was how it should be.

And they sat in silence once again; Shinjiro asking only twice if she was comfortable, and how she was feeling.

And each time she'd give a small shrug of the shoulders, and a reassuring tug at his long black sleeve.

"Thank you, Shinjiro." She had muttered out of the blue.

"What's that about?" Shinjiro said setting the cup inbetween his legs.

"Just, thank you." She waited for him to ask again.

Shinjiro felt her hugging his arm as he waited for her to say something else.

"You always look out for me." She breathed. "Even though you tell me how strong I am…And how you tell me I can look out for myself…You're still…"

Shinjiro set a hand on her knee.

"Of course you can look out for—"

"You're still there." She finished; lifting her head to look at him for a second.

He caught her brazen red eyes as they flashed into his.

He understood her thanks.

"You're always there for me, senpai." She continued. "So…Thank you."

Shinjiro swallowed.

"Right back at you, kid." Shinjiro quietly pulled his hat past his eyes as his face burned.

They sat in silence for a bit more as the rain continued to plummet down onto the roof of the SEES dorm. The lights had since dimmed, and they couldn't even hear Koromaru sauntering around the first floor anymore.

A couple cracks of thunder had managed to be loud enough to shake the walls around them, and the lightning was intensifying as it continued to pour.

Yes, it was just another quiet night at the dorm.

Shinjiro took a sharp breath in.

"Now…" He paused, looking outside the window furthest from him. "I know there are some things that don't need to be said. And of course you don't have to tell me." He swallowed.

His heart felt heavy as he put a hand to his face, shielding him from who knows what.

"But…"

The image of his best friend appeared in the back of his mind.

"Do you…"

He looked to the ceiling.

"Do you love Aki?"

A giant clap of thunder filled the room.

And in those ten seconds he waited for a response, he figured she had been scared speechless by either the thunder or the question.

It was when he realized that the weight on his shoulder hadn't budged in the last ten minutes, he knew he wouldn't be getting his answer.

His breath hitched as he tried his best to sigh normally as he pulled his coat back over her, trying his best to cover her up completely.

He looked back to the window, and then once more to her sleeping face before sinking back into the comfortable position he was in before.

He moved a lax hand to his forehead and ran his fingers through his bangs and back behind his skull. He took a final sip of his coffee and looked to her cup that was still half full.

He felt his eyes close, and the suppressants pounding in the back of his head as he moved his arm across the back of the couch and tilted his head toward the ceiling.

"And that's why I gave you decaff."


End file.
